When Sartre said, “Hell is other people,” he probably just finished a live poker session. It’s not all bad — I’ve met some good friends playing poker — but sometimes the boorishness of the table is too much to bear. Most of the adults who find themselves sitting at a poker table are 12-year-old boys in men’s bodies.

In a recent and completely typical conversation, Ian suggested that Anthony was homosexual because he could name more male than female celebrities (homophobia often stands in for a joke). He then throws down the gauntlet: whose breasts have just been revealed? Kate, Anthony replies. Kate who? Ian shoots back (I swear this is a real conversation). When Anthony doesn’t know her last name, this is taken as further evidence of his flaming homosexuality.

“How does knowing the surname of British royalty make you less gay?” – me. Several moments of blank stares, then discussion returns to how Anthony is TOTALLY GAY!!!

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